More Than A Good Practice: Ethics and Etiquette

As parents, we use every device at our disposal to encourage ‘polite’ behavior in our young children. Surely one of our objectives is to raise citizens whose behavior reflects basic respect for others. Attempting to ‘do the right thing’ while being singularly unable to treat others with consideration is likely to lead ethical decisions that reflect an inhuman approach.

If you take a walk through one of your local big-box bookstores, you might conclude that we are currently experiencing a veritable renaissance of etiquette consciousness. Business moguls have arisen to take up the battle cry. Good manners mean good business.

Do you consider yourself to be polite? Are you well-mannered? Are you respectful of others no matter what their place? Are you ethical? Perhaps we need to stop here. What is the relationship between ethics and etiquette?

If we examine the dictionary definitions of ethics and etiquette, we see striking similarities. Funk and Wagnall’s define etiquette as ‘rules conventionally established for behavior in polite society or official or professional life’. Removal of the words ‘polite society’ results in a definition of ethics that resembles those frequently seen in textbooks. Indeed, another dictionary provides one definition of etiquette as ‘…the code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other.’


HOW ARE YOUR MANNERS?


Since etiquette is concerned with correct or appropriate behavior in personal as well as business situations and has, at its root, respect for others, it seems that possessing good manners is a key part of being able to behave in an acceptable manner. And we certainly expect that individuals learn manners from direct instruction by parents and teachers, personal observation of others and trial and error.


TEST YOUR MANNERS

1. Do you always say please and thank you even when the person is ‘just doing his or her job?’

2. Are you always careful to especially acknowledge when someone goes out of his or her way for you? If you cannot do it at the time, do you remember to d it later?

3. Do you always seek privacy for unpleasant encounters?

4. Do you always control your temper?

5. Do you refrain from using profane or rude language even when under pressure and even in business e-mail?

6. Do you refrain from making sexist or ethnic remarks or forwarding jokes that contain either?

7. Do you refer to others with degree of formality that you expect to receive?


If you answered NO to any of these questions, you need to reexamine your basic manners and do something about it!

Perhaps, Fred Astaire was right when he said, ‘The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.’ If your manners are now what should be seen by children, you might want to do a bit of soul-searching before you even consider the next step in our staircase to respect: demonstrating professional respect for others.

Source: Ethics in Public Relations: A guide to Best Practice by Patricia Parsons.

Twist Your Tongue!

Tongue Twisters are excellent for sharpening enunciation -- to give a statement or speech that explains something clearly. They make your lips, jaw, and tongue exercise and increase your ability to articulate. These exercises are very simple and can be interesting and fun!


Tongue Twisters For: B, P, M, and W

These consonants demand Active Lips! Say "Boom". Explode that "b". Bring those lips down hard, quick, and sharply for B, P, M. For the W, pucker the lips.

FOR B: A big black bug bit a big black bear, made a big black bear bleed.
FOR P: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where is the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
FOR M: Military malarkey makes monstrous madmen into maligned martyrs.
FOR W: If a woodchuck would chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck would? But if a woodchuck would chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood?

Th (thing) and TH (thou)

Touch the tip of the tongue to the rim of the upper teeth. The tongue tip should protrude ever so lightly.

FOR TH: Theophilus Thistle, the thistle sifter, sifted a sieve of unsifted thistles. If Theophilus the thistle sifter sifted a sieve of unsifted thistles, where is the sieve of sifted thistles Theophilus the thistle sifter sifted?
What dost thou think of those that go thither?

S, Z, and WH

These sounds require extremely tenuous coordination. To pronounce "S", you raise your tongue, groove it, and arch it toward the hard palate. Force the breath through the narrow fissure. The same for the "Z" -- except it is vocalized. For "Sh" and "Zh" the fissure is broader. For "Wh" purse the lips as you blow the breath through the extended fissure.

FOR S: Suzy Schell sells sea shells by the seashore.
FOR Z: Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes amiss. For Moses knows his toeses aren't roses as Moses supposes.
FOR WH: What whim led Whitney White to whittle near a wharf where a whale might wheel and whirl?

T, D, N, L, and R

A lazy tongue will get you in trouble with these twisters. The first four of these consonants are made alike. Your tongue should snap as a whip. The tip of it should SHARPLY TOUCH the hard palate-- just above the upper teeth.

On the R, he entire tongue arches itself along the roof of the mouth-- without touching it.

FOR T: Thomas Tattertoot took taut twine to tie ten twigs to two tall trees.
FOR D: Double bubble gum bubbles double. Non double bubble gum doesn't bubble double.
FOR N: A snifter of snuf is enough snuff of a sniff for the snuff-sniffer.
FOR L: Likeable Lillian loves lovely luminous aluminum linoleum.
FOR R: Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

Learning to Improve One's Listening Skills

In our daily lives, we probably spend more time using our listening skills than any other kinds of skill. Like other skills, listening also takes practice to improve.


WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO REALLY LISTEN?

Real listening is an active process that has 3 basic steps.

HEARING.
Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying.

UNDERSTANDING.
This part of listening takes place when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way.

JUDGING.
After you are sure you understand what the speaker said, think about whether it makes sense. Do you believe what you have heard? Are there factual supports on it?


TIPS FOR BEING A GOOD LISTENER

• Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don’t look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.

• Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker’s words.

• Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren’t listening, even if you really are.

• Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak! You can’t really listen if you are busy thinking about what you want to say next.

• Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as “My point is…” or “The thing to remember is…”

• Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct.

• Give feedback. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points, you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears.

THINKING FAST

Remember that time is on your side. Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.